Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
