Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
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