I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
