I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
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