She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
