i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Randomize
