Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
