So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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