Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
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