apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
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