Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
