I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Randomize
