Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
