your parents love me but you hate me
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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