Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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