Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
