Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
