worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize