toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
