I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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