you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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