I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
