Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
