I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
