We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
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