i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
