they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
