and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
