I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
