is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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