girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize
