i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Randomize
