If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
