Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
