Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
