What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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