Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
