I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
