everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I've lost all respect for marriage since I joined this bachelor party.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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