She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
