I hope mine doesn't look like that
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
