I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Randomize
