I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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