After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
