I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
