Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
