One girl and one boy is just not enough.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
I'm really busy with my period
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
