I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
Randomize
