At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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