he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
