So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
id be glad to
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
