and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
It's rum buckets o'clock
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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